Nothing In Particular

I have no idea what I'm going to write about today. I just know that I haven't been here in a whole week and I probably should write something.

I suppose I don't have anything to say because I've had the blahs and I really feel like there is nothing in my life worthy of comment right now. I have a friend who is going in to have gastric-bypass surgery in a couple of weeks. I personally don't think I would ever choose that as an option, but I am happy for her - and a little jealous because I know that a month from now she will probably be about 50lbs lighter. Wouldn't that be nice? I wish her the best - and besides - in my own warped sense of judgment, I don't feel "bested" by her, after all, she did it with surgery - and not by good old-fashioned hard work, right? Yeah, well - that's what I'll tell myself when I'm feeling really sorry for me and she's wearing a size 6. haha

People who have not ever been really fat but who have always tried to be fit and eat healthy have no clue what it is like to know that the ONLY way for you to lose weight and keep it off is to eat NOTHING. Some of us simply have bodies that turn everything we eat into fat. What's funny to me is that when I was younger (high school age), I THOUGHT I was fat. HA HA!! When I graduated from high school, I was 5' 9" and weighed about 155# - including some nice boobs and an ass J-Lo would be jealous of. Man, those were the days!!! The problem is, in my mind I still see myself that way, so looking in a mirror is always a big schock! I just wish my mind could retain that image when I'm downing that last bite of a 15# chicken fried steak with pan fried potatoes and onions - all smothered in good thick country gravy!!! mmmm-mmmm!!

My good friend Sharla describes our condition in a great word: FATOREXIA. No matter how fat we are, we see ourselves as thinner; therefore, we continue to eat ourselves into oblivion.

I should mention at this point that I probably will have to start calling Sharla my FORMER friend. She became obsessed with the no-carb craze about 7 months ago and to date she has lost about 70# - maybe more. She probably can't be my friend anymore - she's just another skinny little bitch to me now. But in spite of the fact that I can't stand her, I am happy for her. Of course she still suffers from FATOREXIA, and due to this, she cannot EVER allow herself to eat like a regular person - she is doomed to canned chicken, tuna, broiled steaks, bacon, eggs, green beans, and whatever other stuff is included in that confounded diet. DAMN, now I've gone and made myself hungry.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE all those foods - I DO - but I love everything else that goes with them, too - and how can you eat without frying?? Tell me that?? I'm a good southern girl - how on earth can you eat bacon and eggs without biscuits and gravy - or grits?? And how can you have a ribeye steak, broiled (rare) to perfection - hot and crunchy fat on the outside - red and juicy on the inside - without a freakin' baked potato smothered in butter, sour cream, chives, and bacon bits?? huh?? tell me - would ya???? And what becomes of fried okra?? SWEET tea?? creamed corn (or corn of any kind, for that matter - which brings me to another subject: have you ever picked an ear of corn and eaten it right off the stalk - raw and warm from standing in the sun all day? Oh... MY.... GAWD - there is NOTHING like it!!!).

See my problem now?? I LOVE FOOD!! Doesn't matter what kind - Chinese, Japanese (even sushi -YUM), Italian, MEXICAN (omg - i AM from TX, ya know!), Greek, Cajun, French (yeah, I'll eat escargot), Indian, Thai - I could go on and on and on.

Oh, and here's a nice segway to reality tv. Anyone see week-before-last's episode of the Amazing Race? the one where they had to eat 2 lbs of caviar with a spoon?? ROFLMAO - That poor guy with the skinny girlfriend who got all dizzy and nauseous after about 5 bites?? He should have taken along a nice fat girl like me - that stuff would have disappeared "tout de suite" - and we'd have been in first place, no doubt!!

I know I've already admitted to you that I'm addicted to reality tv - primarily confined to these favorites: Survivor, Big Brother, The Amazing Race, and The Surreal Life (although I do not watch this religiously). I have also been known to tune in for The (notwayinhellisit) Real World and Road Rules - but really only because I have teenaged children and I want to see the world from their point of view, too. I cannot stand the matchmaking-for-money shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorette, Who Wants to Marry My Dad/Mom, et al. All I can think is - this guy just spent last night or last weekend with another of those girls and now he's boinking the next one?? EWWWW.... talk about your sloppy seconds - NO THANK YOU! Besides - I like the games that involve some kind of mental dexterity, logic, and maybe even a little chicanery.

Well ok - looks like somehow I managed to blab on and on again about nothing and still fill up a page or so (or is that a full screen - I don't know the correct terminology online, since there is no set page-size). I need to go check out Jen and Paula's "One of Us" blog - I don't know yet how to link y'all to it, but as soon as I figure it out, I'll add it and a few others I find interesting or funny. In the meantime, I think i'll go stick a bag of popcorn in the microwave and melt some extra butter to go on it!! ...osm