What Goes Around, Comes Around...
Wow. What a difference a couple of months can make.
A few weeks (or maybe months) ago, I wrote about finding out that a former lover had a new woman in his life and was happy and everything was going so well - and that he hadn't bothered to tell me this himself, but had mentioned it to another mutual friend - so that I got it second-hand. I was hurt - and maybe even a little jealous. I don't want to give the impression that I am not happy for him. I am. It's just a little scary that another man in my life has moved on found happiness - without me. Forces me to look at myself (again) and say "What are you doing wrong?" - or at the very least "What are you not doing right?" It sorta messes with my sense of self and my self-esteem a bit. But that's not the focus of this post.
Two days ago, I happened to get up and get on the computer to start my work day around 7am (early for me). When I sat down, I noticed that "he" was online (and I know he works nights) - so I IM'd him to say "Up late? or up early?". We were using MSN messenger - and of course it has display pics, right? Mine is usually one of my kids. His is usually one of the canned pics that MSN provides - or a snapshot of his faithful dog, Scooch.
Not today. Today it was a picture of an auburn-haired woman with dark eyes with her index finger in her mouth - probably snapped by a webcam used for online chat. Nothing sleazy, mind you - but flirty. I thought to myself "this must be a pic of the girlfriend", then I minimized the window and went about my business readying myself for work. Later, I remembered the IM and went to see if he had gone idle (perhaps sleeping?) because I hadn't received a reply. The picture was changed back to the dog (??) and he had logged off. Hmmmmm. So did that mean that he just didn't want to talk to me? Was he avoiding the conversation because he knew that I had seen the girlfriend's pic (and he's never told me himself that he is involved with anyone - and he knows he should have told me - that's what friends do), or - was it just possible that he was not the one who had signed on to his messenger screen name to go online? Good question, I thought.
About 3 hrs later, he logged back on - so never being able to resist poking a bee's nest to see what comes out - I IM'd again - and said "did I scare you off this morning?? you never answered me". He replies with "?" and "you mean today?" I say "yup - waaaahhhh" - he says "I wasn't online this morning". OOPS. Oh-kay. Then he asks "Are you sure it was me?" - I say "Well it was YOUR messenger - pic of a woman - I figured the g/f". He comes back with "red hair?", I say "yup". ok - you get the picture now, right? We go back and forth with him asking me at LEAST 3 more times if I am SURE it was HIS screen name (sheesh) - and me saying - YES!!! And then we move on to chat about how he might have left it up by mistake, but also how he doesn't even have a pic of her in his IM picture queue - and maybe she was snooping, blahblahblah. - Nothing to start trouble - he's not upset - he just says he'll be sure to leave something incriminating lying around for her to find so he can REALLY mess with her. Now THAT'S the man I knew and loved! ha ha.
As we are chatting, he puts up a pic of a boy - probably 9 or 10 yrs old. So I ask him - "is that the boy?" He says "yep - that's my fave pic of him - a smile every mother could love and hair all fucked to hell". I say "typical school pic"; he says "I asked him- what? you didn't have a FREAKIN' COMB?" and we both laugh and talk about how the mom has him full-time and how (at this point, I suppose I should give him a name, so let's just call him Paul) Paul is having to learn to deal with living with the kid - and how he really cares about him - but that the kid's always in trouble. And we discuss the perils of instant parenting. (Remember, during the time we were involved, I also had children - actually teenagers - living at home; it was interesting, to say the least). Paul is an only child. His parents divorced during his early teens, and are now both deceased - and other than step-siblings that came during his later teen years, he has never had to live with or deal with children. He was married/involved with the same woman for 20 yrs, but they never had children of their own - so he's basically just a great big self-absorbed, imthecenteroftheuniverse kinda guy.
I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing - he's a wonderful person in a lot of ways - but thinking that the whole world isn't about HIM in some way just never occurs to him. (love ya, Paul)
So in the course of this conversation, I ask him how long he's been with this woman (we were talking about discipline and dynamics of relating to kids) - he says he's been living with her now for 4-5 months. I say "but......." and then he types "but I've known him/her for over 1 yr now". I was stunned. Really. We have talked consistently ever since he left TX to move back to FL 4 yrs ago and while I've known that he has had other, um, "relationships" (and he certainly knows I have), he's never EVER told me he was dating anyone - let alone involved in a long-term situation. So I just laid it out - I told him I wished he had told me himself so that I hadn't had to find it out second-hand because it was obvious that he really cares about this woman - and I would have been happy for him and wouldn't have gone all to pieces or anything. His reply was basically "and the best part (you're gonna love this he says) - we met online". (insert spit-take here)
Let me explain. (I still break into fits of laughter even now - typing it all again). When I met Paul, I had been involved in a long-term internet relationship - one where I had actually met the person - and we were wonderful - best friends - it was great. But he wasn't leaving where he was, and I couldn't go there - and so it ended, but we were still best friends - what I would consider soulmates if there is such a thing. And Paul knew about this. To say that he gave me a hard time about "falling in love" over the internet is an UNDERSTATEMENT. The same hard time he gives me about several things - including REALITY TV (remember this - there will be a quiz later).
How many times did he tell me he just couldn't for the LIFE of him figure out how someone (with any brains - and he knew I had brains) could be sucked into the world of cyber-romance - period. LMAOROFLMFFAO. So of course at this point he has to type to me "you may now collapse in a fit of laughter" and I'm ALREADY pounding out "OMG you just nearly made me swallow a whole mouth full of sunflower seeds" and "can't.... type.... can't.... reach.... keyboard.... from.... floor". Schmuck - be careful what you say about other people.... lmao - I better be careful, I'll wake the baby. Oh yeah, he also told me that now I knew I should get over it - and really quickly. I told him I had blogged about it for the whole world to see when I had found out about it 2 months ago so not to worry - I WAS over it. He either didn't catch the "blog" comment - or didn't believe me.
So of course, my next text to him goes something like this "well, now all you have to do is knock her up and we'll be even". To which he replies "fuck you, you evil bitch" or something like that. I know he meant it in the NICEST possible way. Then he had to go. I actually SAVED the transcript of this conversation - why, I have no clue. It just seemed the thing to do. (Maybe so I could look back, re-read, and laugh again later?).
Fast forward into that evening. It's now about 8pm my time. I'm back at the computer doing God knows what this time - probably checking up on BB5. Paul signs on again. Immediately he IMs with "I hope you're happy". I'm like"?" "wtf?". lmao - All I can think is - uh oh well I've caused a fight by telling him he was logged on and he's asked her blahblahblah. He says "girlfriend just informed me she thinks she's preggers". O M G..... ROFLMAO... (again). I can't even function now. I say "STFU - you are kidding me". Of course she hasn't been to the doc yet, but she did the home test and it was positive. And we have to have the cursory conversation about "how could this have happened?", and he calls me an evil bitch - again - and I laugh some more and tell him to shut up because he knows that inside he's THRILLED - he never thought he would be able to do it - etc... and he's waited so long, he's just taken the attitude of Aesop's Fox when unable to reach the grapes. But let me tell you - that man RODE MY ASS while I was pregnant this last time - laughing at me - saying how it was better me than him - etc... etc... etc.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... He says "I can't do this - I'm 42 FUCKING YEARS OLD". I reply "and how old do you think I am, Paul?" (he knows good and well I'm 6 months older than he is)and "besides YOU don't have to DO ANYTHING except GROW UP". more laughter from me - more swearing from him.
Then I went on to jinx him further saying how the baby would DEFINITELY be a girl, named Brittany (that's an inside joke). In case you're wondering, the proper incantation for that goes something like this: "boogety boogety boogety.... BOO!" and then you have to shake a chicken leg in a paper bag.
I know he IS thrilled deep inside - and I PRAY for him that he will learn to step outside the "paul box" and start putting someone else ahead of himself. And he DOES deserve a girl - no way should he be allowed to raise another boy just like himself, lol. He'll be a big pile of mush - which is fitting. And when I say big, I mean BIG - the boy is about 6'6" and (last time I saw him) weighed about 325 - I could stand behind him and not be seen. He looks like Mr. Clean on steroids (head shaved bald and all). Very sexy, I think.
Oh - one more short conversation the next morning - he logged on and I hit him with "Oh btw I've thought of the last piece that needs to fall in place to make my revenge complete". He can't wait to hear this one. I say "I'm waiting for the day I walk through the livingroom and the tv is on TLC's program "A Perfect Proposal".
He's no longer speaking to me.
I hope Brittany wants to be a cheerleader when she grows up! ...osm
A few weeks (or maybe months) ago, I wrote about finding out that a former lover had a new woman in his life and was happy and everything was going so well - and that he hadn't bothered to tell me this himself, but had mentioned it to another mutual friend - so that I got it second-hand. I was hurt - and maybe even a little jealous. I don't want to give the impression that I am not happy for him. I am. It's just a little scary that another man in my life has moved on found happiness - without me. Forces me to look at myself (again) and say "What are you doing wrong?" - or at the very least "What are you not doing right?" It sorta messes with my sense of self and my self-esteem a bit. But that's not the focus of this post.
Two days ago, I happened to get up and get on the computer to start my work day around 7am (early for me). When I sat down, I noticed that "he" was online (and I know he works nights) - so I IM'd him to say "Up late? or up early?". We were using MSN messenger - and of course it has display pics, right? Mine is usually one of my kids. His is usually one of the canned pics that MSN provides - or a snapshot of his faithful dog, Scooch.
Not today. Today it was a picture of an auburn-haired woman with dark eyes with her index finger in her mouth - probably snapped by a webcam used for online chat. Nothing sleazy, mind you - but flirty. I thought to myself "this must be a pic of the girlfriend", then I minimized the window and went about my business readying myself for work. Later, I remembered the IM and went to see if he had gone idle (perhaps sleeping?) because I hadn't received a reply. The picture was changed back to the dog (??) and he had logged off. Hmmmmm. So did that mean that he just didn't want to talk to me? Was he avoiding the conversation because he knew that I had seen the girlfriend's pic (and he's never told me himself that he is involved with anyone - and he knows he should have told me - that's what friends do), or - was it just possible that he was not the one who had signed on to his messenger screen name to go online? Good question, I thought.
About 3 hrs later, he logged back on - so never being able to resist poking a bee's nest to see what comes out - I IM'd again - and said "did I scare you off this morning?? you never answered me". He replies with "?" and "you mean today?" I say "yup - waaaahhhh" - he says "I wasn't online this morning". OOPS. Oh-kay. Then he asks "Are you sure it was me?" - I say "Well it was YOUR messenger - pic of a woman - I figured the g/f". He comes back with "red hair?", I say "yup". ok - you get the picture now, right? We go back and forth with him asking me at LEAST 3 more times if I am SURE it was HIS screen name (sheesh) - and me saying - YES!!! And then we move on to chat about how he might have left it up by mistake, but also how he doesn't even have a pic of her in his IM picture queue - and maybe she was snooping, blahblahblah. - Nothing to start trouble - he's not upset - he just says he'll be sure to leave something incriminating lying around for her to find so he can REALLY mess with her. Now THAT'S the man I knew and loved! ha ha.
As we are chatting, he puts up a pic of a boy - probably 9 or 10 yrs old. So I ask him - "is that the boy?" He says "yep - that's my fave pic of him - a smile every mother could love and hair all fucked to hell". I say "typical school pic"; he says "I asked him- what? you didn't have a FREAKIN' COMB?" and we both laugh and talk about how the mom has him full-time and how (at this point, I suppose I should give him a name, so let's just call him Paul) Paul is having to learn to deal with living with the kid - and how he really cares about him - but that the kid's always in trouble. And we discuss the perils of instant parenting. (Remember, during the time we were involved, I also had children - actually teenagers - living at home; it was interesting, to say the least). Paul is an only child. His parents divorced during his early teens, and are now both deceased - and other than step-siblings that came during his later teen years, he has never had to live with or deal with children. He was married/involved with the same woman for 20 yrs, but they never had children of their own - so he's basically just a great big self-absorbed, imthecenteroftheuniverse kinda guy.
I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing - he's a wonderful person in a lot of ways - but thinking that the whole world isn't about HIM in some way just never occurs to him. (love ya, Paul)
So in the course of this conversation, I ask him how long he's been with this woman (we were talking about discipline and dynamics of relating to kids) - he says he's been living with her now for 4-5 months. I say "but......." and then he types "but I've known him/her for over 1 yr now". I was stunned. Really. We have talked consistently ever since he left TX to move back to FL 4 yrs ago and while I've known that he has had other, um, "relationships" (and he certainly knows I have), he's never EVER told me he was dating anyone - let alone involved in a long-term situation. So I just laid it out - I told him I wished he had told me himself so that I hadn't had to find it out second-hand because it was obvious that he really cares about this woman - and I would have been happy for him and wouldn't have gone all to pieces or anything. His reply was basically "and the best part (you're gonna love this he says) - we met online". (insert spit-take here)
Let me explain. (I still break into fits of laughter even now - typing it all again). When I met Paul, I had been involved in a long-term internet relationship - one where I had actually met the person - and we were wonderful - best friends - it was great. But he wasn't leaving where he was, and I couldn't go there - and so it ended, but we were still best friends - what I would consider soulmates if there is such a thing. And Paul knew about this. To say that he gave me a hard time about "falling in love" over the internet is an UNDERSTATEMENT. The same hard time he gives me about several things - including REALITY TV (remember this - there will be a quiz later).
How many times did he tell me he just couldn't for the LIFE of him figure out how someone (with any brains - and he knew I had brains) could be sucked into the world of cyber-romance - period. LMAOROFLMFFAO. So of course at this point he has to type to me "you may now collapse in a fit of laughter" and I'm ALREADY pounding out "OMG you just nearly made me swallow a whole mouth full of sunflower seeds" and "can't.... type.... can't.... reach.... keyboard.... from.... floor". Schmuck - be careful what you say about other people.... lmao - I better be careful, I'll wake the baby. Oh yeah, he also told me that now I knew I should get over it - and really quickly. I told him I had blogged about it for the whole world to see when I had found out about it 2 months ago so not to worry - I WAS over it. He either didn't catch the "blog" comment - or didn't believe me.
So of course, my next text to him goes something like this "well, now all you have to do is knock her up and we'll be even". To which he replies "fuck you, you evil bitch" or something like that. I know he meant it in the NICEST possible way. Then he had to go. I actually SAVED the transcript of this conversation - why, I have no clue. It just seemed the thing to do. (Maybe so I could look back, re-read, and laugh again later?).
Fast forward into that evening. It's now about 8pm my time. I'm back at the computer doing God knows what this time - probably checking up on BB5. Paul signs on again. Immediately he IMs with "I hope you're happy". I'm like"?" "wtf?". lmao - All I can think is - uh oh well I've caused a fight by telling him he was logged on and he's asked her blahblahblah. He says "girlfriend just informed me she thinks she's preggers". O M G..... ROFLMAO... (again). I can't even function now. I say "STFU - you are kidding me". Of course she hasn't been to the doc yet, but she did the home test and it was positive. And we have to have the cursory conversation about "how could this have happened?", and he calls me an evil bitch - again - and I laugh some more and tell him to shut up because he knows that inside he's THRILLED - he never thought he would be able to do it - etc... and he's waited so long, he's just taken the attitude of Aesop's Fox when unable to reach the grapes. But let me tell you - that man RODE MY ASS while I was pregnant this last time - laughing at me - saying how it was better me than him - etc... etc... etc.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... He says "I can't do this - I'm 42 FUCKING YEARS OLD". I reply "and how old do you think I am, Paul?" (he knows good and well I'm 6 months older than he is)and "besides YOU don't have to DO ANYTHING except GROW UP". more laughter from me - more swearing from him.
Then I went on to jinx him further saying how the baby would DEFINITELY be a girl, named Brittany (that's an inside joke). In case you're wondering, the proper incantation for that goes something like this: "boogety boogety boogety.... BOO!" and then you have to shake a chicken leg in a paper bag.
I know he IS thrilled deep inside - and I PRAY for him that he will learn to step outside the "paul box" and start putting someone else ahead of himself. And he DOES deserve a girl - no way should he be allowed to raise another boy just like himself, lol. He'll be a big pile of mush - which is fitting. And when I say big, I mean BIG - the boy is about 6'6" and (last time I saw him) weighed about 325 - I could stand behind him and not be seen. He looks like Mr. Clean on steroids (head shaved bald and all). Very sexy, I think.
Oh - one more short conversation the next morning - he logged on and I hit him with "Oh btw I've thought of the last piece that needs to fall in place to make my revenge complete". He can't wait to hear this one. I say "I'm waiting for the day I walk through the livingroom and the tv is on TLC's program "A Perfect Proposal".
He's no longer speaking to me.
I hope Brittany wants to be a cheerleader when she grows up! ...osm
posted by OneSingleMom @ 9/01/2004 09:30:00 PM
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