I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!!!

Here it is, girls!! I finally found the link to video of Chuck's first paying job!! You'll have to scroll down to where it says : piano_player.mpg and click on the link to see it!!! PRICELESS!!

And you just THOUGHT he was kidding about being "above average" hehehe. ...osm

P.S. If you find the link video a little blurry, email me and I'll send you the actual clip as an attachment - it's SOOO much funnier when you can actually see it!! Also - if anyone can tell me how to post the .avi file directly from my own computer, let me know and I'll fix it that way!!

Evidence that Chuck's House is DEFINITELY Cleaner than Mine...

The first time I showed these photos to a former live-in friend, he suggested that I should do something about cleaning the crap off the fridge before I snap pics. Only problem is, the fridge isn't dirty - it's tiny rust spots - compliments of the swamp cooler and some unknown source of little chips in the fridge's paint/finish.

At any rate, I figured this might take the heat off Chuck for a while. Bo, why don't you pick on someone your own size and leave poor Chuckie alone?? ...osm

Hey, this sweeping thing looks like fun!


Why is it that every appliance in this kitchen seems to be missing its bottom cover-up parts??


Calgon, take me away!!!

Unconditional "Like"

Dear Son,

I got this story in an email message today, and I thought about how it applies to how I feel about you (and how I should apply it in how I treat you). I have read it over a couple of times – it says some things that I really would like you to hear – from my heart.

I should have learned this lesson a long time ago and not wasted so much time pushing you away. For that, I am sorry. I hope you can see that someone else struggles with the same issues that I do, but that it in no way means that this man hasn’t always loved his son very, very much – as I do you.

I am always here for you – and I will make an honest effort to just let you be you.

Love, Mom (...osm)

Unconditional “Like”
By John Fischer

I just finished spending four days in the constant company of my 25-year-old son. I am a fortunate man.

At his request, I accompanied him halfway across the country with harrowing experiences crossing the Arizona Rocky Mountains on the heels of a thirty-inch snowstorm with no heat in his truck, scraping ice with our credit cards off the INSIDE of the windshield!

The whole experience was crammed into four days—two days and nights driving including a stop to repair the heater, and two days finding an apartment, shopping for essentials, and moving him in. On the morning of the fifth day he dropped me off at the airport and immediately drove to the office for his first day at his new job.

And now I’m on a plane home and I can’t hold back the tears. I’ve known I loved my son—of course… he’s my son—but I didn’t realize how much I liked him. My feelings toward him have been hindered by my judgment of him and my displeasure over some of his choices. Of course my disappointment was the result of a true concern for him and his own development, but it occurs to me now that it has also been colored by a concern for the repercussions his choices might have on me and what others might think of me as his father.

So I guess you might say I’m learning about unconditional “like.” My wife likes our children unconditionally. She does not judge them when they come to her with things that might displease her, and as a result, they tell her everything. I am not so fortunate. I get the edited version of the truth.

How does God love? How do I want Him to relate to me? Certainly I would want Him to like me unconditionally—to want to be with me regardless, and to not reject me when I do something wrong, or remove His love from me when I tell him the truth.

What the late Fred Rogers meant when he said “I like you the way you are”, is a way of expressing God’s unconditional “like.” I am so sorry it’s taken me so long to get this. The tears are over lost time and the distance I need to make up.

In the film, Father of the Bride, Steve Martin looks at his 22-year-old daughter and sees her, instead, as his 6-year-old in pigtails. I had a couple of those double takes this weekend as I caught my son at a much younger age when it was easier to like him. He was smaller and his early decisions were easily managed.

Starting here, starting now—I like him, just the way he is.

Increase Your Traffic?

Just trying something - If you will scroll down and scan the left-hand side to where my counter is located, you will see a blinking thingy that says "Increase Your Traffic" and then flashes to "Click Here".

This is something I'm trying out.

You will also notice the "Enter My Chat Room" button. You might try that out sometime when you're on - if I'm online, I'll try to keep it open - it might be kind of fun just to say hello and see who's visiting and when. That's all. ...osm

My Life, Or Something Like It

Just a quick word for anyone who's read my recent laments about my son:

Monday night, I called my ex-husband to see if he'd come up with the money to help our daughter with her down payment for this semester in college. I found out that they had been trying to reach me because it seems my son had an accident and was shot in the foot by a .22 caliber rifle. They were just leaving the hospital ER when I got hold of them, with instructions to bring him back the next day (Tuesday/today) to see an orthopedic surgeon to determine what course of action to take next.

Details are sketchy, as my son was not very coherent when I spoke to him, and was the only one present in the bathroom when the shooting happened, but near as I can tell, he was with his step-brother out at the step-brother's grandfather's farm - out in the barn with step-brother and the grandfather. My son went into the bathroom out in the barn, and as he was finishing, he dropped some change - or maybe he was getting change out - who knows? Anyway, it rolled under the coke machine the man keeps in the bathroom, and when my son got down on the floor to retrieve the change from under the machine, he bumped it and knocked over some guns that were leaning against it, loadad, safety not on - and the .22 discharged, shooting my son straight through his shoe, through his foot and out the other side.

Naturally, the landowner (says) he does not have insurance, and since it's my husband's wife's ex-husband's father we're talking about (people from Arkansas, could you explain that to the others among you who might find that confusing?), there won't be any financial help from that direction, so that means whatever is done, will have to be paid for by my husband (which won't happen) - so more likely it means my son will have to go to my parents for help if something else major needs to be done.

Please say a prayer that the 90 days of wound care, 30 days of antibiotics, and weekly visits to the surgeon throughout this time are all that is required (along with a minimum 4 wks off his foot - so that means NO WORK). The wound care alone will be over $600. The good news is, that so far he's ok - and I really expect him to stay that way - IF - and I do mean IF he follows doctor's instructions!! I really hope this gives him reason to pause and take inventory of his life. I offered to go get him and bring him home to care for him, but he declined. That hurts so bad. I feel like he's being brainwashed. Whenever I talk to his dad and the rest of that clan, I get the DISTINCT impression that they champion themselves for protecting him from me. I know it is a direct kick-back to "thou shalt not control me, woman" - the attitude/resentment my ex-husband carries about me to this day. I won't say he's incorrect there - but then again, at the time I figured anyone who would get drunk and get in a car and leave his wife stranded 60 miles from home (albeit at the home of friends) without even a ride to work the next day might need a little lesson in good judgement from time to time??

Ok, so where is the part where I get to just live a normal life? Not that this is about ME by any means - I mean, I don't want to be a Drama Queen Mama and go wailing about how you all should feel so sorry for me (not that it would work anyway, lol) - but DAMMIT, when can I just have a WHOLE month of bills paid on time, groceries in the fridge, work going well (mainly because I'm putting forth good effort and staying focused), and no one is not speaking to me, sick, or in jail or in danger of either?? Ok - so no one's actually ever been to jail, but still.

And I still wonder why no men have lined up to check me out?? ...osm

For Lauren....

Jan 8, 2005

Dear Lauren,

Wow, here we are, 21 years later already? I’ll try NOT to get TOO mushy, but it seems just like yesterday I was getting up early on this day and getting ready to meet you face-to-face for the first time!!

How can I possibly tell you what it means to me to be your Mom? I can’t – and even if I could, you wouldn’t believe me anyway (which is fine). It’s too hard to understand until you have kids of your own (plenty of time there – NO HURRY, ha!).

I am truly so proud of you and I really like knowing you, to boot! Not a lot of moms can say that about their kids – sure, they ALWAYS love them, but to like them – that takes something really special!!

I really wish I had some profound words to give you or the secret to success or life or love – or whatever it is you most want - but I don’t. All I can tell you is that I will love you forever and that I will always be here for you – even if it seems sometimes to be the other way around (and thanks for that too, by the way).

I want you to have my add-a-pearl necklace. It is fitting that it just happens to have 21 pearls on it. You are as precious to me as any pearl – and even the story of how a pearl comes to be is appropriate when I think about you. It’s not like an oyster is a very pretty thing to begin with (me being the oyster, lol), and then comes a grain of sand or something else irritating and not really very remarkable to begin with. But given enough time, and care, and glossing over, something rare and beautiful is created – something that men risk life and limb to possess, reaching to great depths to discover it and once found, cherishing it for life.

Don’t you EVER mistake – your day is coming sooner than you might think – you are growing and changing in so many positive ways every day – I can see it happening right before my eyes!

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY – I LOVE YOU LAUREN!!!!!

The Birthday Girl, Herself!

How Sad is This?

I just realized that every time I post a new comment, or view my comments, or refresh the view of my own blog, my hit counter goes up by 1. Here I have been thinking that people are looking at what I have to say (which is ironic, because until I got my first comments, I had never even expected ANYONE to be looking at it except me - but once I started getting comments, I started LIKING the fact that someone was reading it. Now it turns out that the 1500+ hits are probably mostly my own anal checking to make sure everything looks ok or double-checking my spelling (yes, I KNOW there is a spell-checker available to me, but I pride myself on the fact that I am a being of superior intellingence and spelling skills, as well as an impeccable typist (I'm also the type of person who can get something level by "eyeballing it"). Damn technology for giving me false hope! ...osm

What Started as a Comment....

Has again become a whole post!

I originally penned this as a reply to a comment from JustMe - and then:


Hey JM - thanks for the offer!! One of these days (when I finally get caught up on things I SHOULD be doing - like work) I will probably take you up on that!! I found some templates already out on blogger that I liked (one called "Tequila" really caught my eye - but maybe that's because I think I NEED some tequilas, lol). I really want to find one like that and then tweak it to make it MINE MINE MINE!!! (with the original creator's permission, of course, I guess)

I could spend WAY too much time doing this - which is probably why it's either feast or famine around here - because when I'm blogging, I'm not doing much of anything else. That would be fine, If blogging PAID the bills, I guess!! I could stand to support myself by just talking about random stuff and pointing out other people's weaknesses - how groovy would that be? oops - see - I'm regressing into a whole post now - I better quit before I use up all my ideas in a comment/reply!!

Oh what the hell!! I'll just make it a post. There. Done.

So far tonight, I've spent about 6 hours cruising the blog "drag". I've laughed out loud and sent some emails and written some comments and wondered about why some of my other blogger friends haven't posted in 2 days (when they usually post at LEAST every day) - everything ok out there?? Maybe I'm just getting a taste of my own medicine for being a negligent blogger and being away for so long without any warning? I doubt it - although I know some people noticed my absence, (and they are after all THE most important people), it didn't really cause a very big ripple in the big scheme of things. Especially not compared to what's been going on elsewhere in the world, eh?

I suppose I should just give it up for tonight and head for bed - I agreed to keep my niece while my sister works tomorrow morning, which means I'll be getting a phone call around 7am to tell me to get up and answer the door (it's 2am now). YIPES!!!

Just in case I don't blog again tomorrow(/today?) - my oldest daughter turns 21 today (Jan 8). O M G - that can't be!! I still need to write a not to her to be given with her birthday gift from me - a pearl necklace that was started for me upon my birth, with a new pearl added every year on my birthday - until I turned age 20 (which means it now has 21 pearls on it, duh). I think that's very fitting, don't you? I also purchased a very inexpensive car stereo w/cd for her at wmart the day after Christmas (I already gave that to her). I'm still waiting for her to get it installed. She better hurry up, or I'll be taking it back to pay for our dinner out at Logan's tonight (no, I mean later tonight on Saturday - gosh it's weird to type about today when I still haven't been to bed yet last night). So, if you're in Amarillo and want to drop by Logan's Roadhouse around 6pm tomorrow/tonight - we'll be the table of geeks with a birthday cake making her stand in a chair while we sing "Happy Birthday"!!!

Anyway - y'all wish her a Happy Birthday, would ya? I'm not exactly sure how to share it with her - but I'll figure something out. I'm certainly NOT going to publish her email address online, and although she knows I HAVE a blog, she doesn't actually know the name of it - nor has she ever read it (that's by design, so that I can say whatever I want without offending/hurting feelings or having it held against me later - not that she's prone to that type of thing). Anyway, she's basically the poster child for parenting - everyone we knew who didn't have kids WANTED one after she was born because she was JUST SO DARN ADORABLE!! And she still is - most of the time - and she sure makes me glad to be her MOM!!! Happy Birthday, Pnknhaid!!! ...osm

Ok, one more....

I can't decide if this is so ironic just because I am a NATURAL blonde, or because our new kitten is white?? (Incidentally, we named him using one of those "find your new name" email thingies that went around a while back - using my youngest daughter's name - and it was the ONLY name she'd actually call him besides "baby kitty") ...osm

Your Porn Star Name is: Albino Kitty

Get your own Porn Star Name

Cheeseball Applebuns - the "Albino Kitty"?

What Kind of Soul are You?....

I was really kind of scared to see what might pop up when I hit enter on this thing - thankfully, it wasn't unkind! ...osm

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Um... OK, let's try this again!

Hidey-ho!

I know it's been a while, but I'm finally making time to get out here and post. I've really just had a small bit of time and I've mostly spent that commenting on other blogs (and not very well, I might add).

Since it's a new year, it seems like a good time to make a FRESH start - so - I am DEFINITELY going to change the template for my blog. Problem is (as I understand it), I will lose all my previous comments? but not my posts, right?

Anyone who knows about this (has DONE IT?) PLEASE, PLEASE contact me!!

I have a brand new (thanks, Chuck) gmail account - and you should be able to get me by following the link in my profile.

I want to get this up and running sometime this week, if possible - so I can really get started on some posts!! I have missed talking to (and hearing from) my blogger friends!!!

I hope you all had a great CHRISTMAS (yes, I celebrate Christmas as a Christian person and I'm not about to go diluting what that means to me by calling it "holiday season", sorry!)!! And - if you happen not to celebrate Christmas, that's ok - I hope you are well also!! At the VERY least, I REALLY hope you had a safe and happy NEW YEAR's celebration!!! ...osm